


It All Comes Crashing Down in the End

by SenseiSimpai



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Angst, Big Brother Amaimon, Bullying, Caring Mephisto, Cram school kids are pricks, Depressed Okumura Rin, Fluff, I'm sorry for writing this, Mental Health Issues, Neglection, Okumura Rin deserves better, Okumura Yukio is a prick, Other, Protective Amaimon, Protective Mephisto, Starving, Suicidal Okumura Rin, Suicide Attempt, blue exorcist - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:02:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28742187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SenseiSimpai/pseuds/SenseiSimpai
Summary: Life went back to 'normal' as Rin's classmates once again were avoiding and degrading him. After everything he tried to do just to get them to trust him and accept him as a classmate; they never seemed to care. After months of having the fact Satan is his father and his brother not even stopping the harassment it finally pushed him over the edge. He finally had enough and wanted to make everyone happy for once; just so he could please someone he decided it was time to go for good.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 128





	1. The Crash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life went back to 'normal' as Rin's classmates once again were avoiding and degrading him. After everything he tried to do just to get them to trust him and accept him as a classmate; they never seemed to care. After months of having the fact Satan is his father and his brother not even stopping the harassment it finally pushed him over the edge. He finally had enough and wanted to make everyone happy for once; just so he could please someone he decided it was time to go for good.

Chapter  I

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Hi! This is some blue exorcist angst + fluff on the side with Rin’s half-brothers. I just finished the series and read a few fanfics that inspired me to write my own angst fanfic. I have no intention to make some of these characters look like bad people but this is what I think would happen after Rin defeated the impure king and life went back to ‘normal’. So, I hope you enjoy and I’ll try to trigger warning this the best I can. 

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Trigger Warning: Bullying, Attempted Suicide, Starving, Neglection, Mention of Vomit. 

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It has been a week since the Impure king was defeated and the students went back to the school to continue training to become exorcist. Rin wasn’t pardoned from the deal that was made at his hearing but his execution was suspended until further notice. Things sadly didn’t stay like they were though, his classmates went back to no speaking terms and making rude remarks towards the half-demon. He was slowly getting used to this phase but this was different, everyone was cold to him even his own blood brother whos’ powers were activated. It hurt a bit to know nobody trusted him besides boobzilla who continued to train him to control his flames. It seemed she was the only one that believed in him now, his brother didn’t agree to him being an exorcist and he was still labeled as dangerous. Another thing was Yukio switched to another room in their own dormitory, they were no longer sleeping in the same room and it wasn’t easy for Rin. After everything he did for them, they all looked down at him once again as if he asked to be the spawn of Satan. It made him feel sick every time he thought about it; it truly did hurt but he didn’t want anyone to know but what hurt most was his own brother looking at him differently. 

Safe to say Class started back up and everyone knew things weren’t going to go well especially on the first day. Right off the bat Rin was put in the back of the class where he could hear the echoed taunts flow into his ears. His brother was no longer calling him Rin; instead, he joined the majority and called him by his last name. Nobody stepped in to stop the taunts while his brother taught like he used to, he just let them happen and sometimes Rin even caught him smiling. To say for the least of it, Okumura was terrified of his classmates more than anything especially if something physical could of happen. 

Sadly, after a week or two of being taunted and pushed around the time came when physical altercation got involved when Bon took a tease too far. Mentioning Rin’s adoptive fathers’ death while Yukio was stepped out of the room nearly pushed him over edge as the blue flames covered his body. Though he did not strike or try to harm the other he was called out by boobzilla who made him stay out of school for the rest of the day. It wasn’t fair; it hurt more than anyone could know even after Bon admitted he hated Rin for not trusting him enough to open up but was now hurting him. 

It only got worse from there; two months had passed since the incident and he was being backed into corners. People would knock him down and pin him, threatening to kill him and throwing that demon shit in his face. His brother was now snickering and even cracking jokes about how stupid Rin was to fuel the fire, it never seemed to end. Rin was always the first to arrive and the first to leave just to try and avoid another bruise or his tail being pulled again. He no longer could take out his sword, his confidence was withered away by the teases and degrading. He couldn’t bring it up to anyone not even boobzilla who he wanted to trust but no longer had it in him to do so; so, he became cold to the world. He no longer talked to Kuro like he used to, he locked himself up in his dorm after class without eating a single meal. He would go days without sleep in fear someone is going to enter and try to kill him; though at this point he kind of wished his execution wasn’t suspended. It was sad to admit but Rin Okumura was ready to call it quits, they already told him enough that he deserved to die. 

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The morning was dull as it rained outside; Yukio was out of class on a mission and there was a sub instead. Bon and the others took this as a great opportunity to fuck with Rin once more without consequence, even Shiemi pitched in on the taunting and teasing (probably to try and fit in.). The group made their way over to the half-demon boy while the sub had his back turned and began taunting him; reminding him of what his father did to other families. Reminding him of how dangerous he was and how his blue flames killed people; how he could never be an exorcist who saved people. Rin sat emotionless as it just seemed to escalate the situation, the less he reacted the angrier the group grew and turned towards violence. Bon was the first to strike the males’ tail by dragging him out of his chair and taking his sword away. There were faint cheers from behind as the brick shit wall-built boy stood Okumura up and struck him over and over in the stomach. 

Rin took every hit with an unreadable expression despite the burn in his stomach as the large fist connected with it. Finally, he spit out blood and he knew it had gone on for long enough, the blue flames once again surrounded his body. His body slid down the wall as he looked up with dull eyes to scan everyone standing in the group; his once friends were now strangers to him. The sub rushed out of the room saying something about getting Yukio, Shura, and the director but the rest was muffled in Rin’s ears as he stood up slowly. He had enough; the anger and fear bubbled to the top but it was overpowered by the sadness as his flames died down and tears slowly ran down his face. 

“You think I asked to be the son of fucking Satan?! I thought I was a normal kid up until someone attacked me and tried to kill me! I never wanted this and after all I did for you guys just to trust me and accept me as even a classmate.” Rin finally snapped as his eyes connected with Bon’s who had something to say like always. 

“You’re still a demon. Your father killed people and those blue flames are no good! You’ll be the same as him and you’ll kill us all. The conseil should have just executed you on the spot. You deserve death Okumura; we were never friends nor will we ever be. Nobody wants you here not even your own damn brother so why don’t you just turn yourself in!” Bon yelled in the half-demon's face but to his surprise he received a laugh back in response. 

Rin’s hair cast over his face as a shadow as he pushed pass the crowd, his head hung low as the tears fell from his eyes. He approached the door to meet a worried Shura and Mephisto but an irritated Yukio who was ready to blame his older brother for causing an issue. That theory was quickly shut down when the twins caught eye contact with each other for a brief second before Rin pushed pass the adults and made his way down the long hall. It was a different way; he was walking away from the door to take him the quick way back to his dorm. Instead, he was walking towards a set of stairs that lead up to the roof, where he spent time thinking for the past week. There were loud yells heard from down the hall that made Rin stop in his tracks for a second; it was Mephisto finally putting his foot down after he figured out what had happened through the eavesdropping of the sub. 

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Rin made his way to the roof where the wind blew and the rain poured down hard; it was quiet and cold as he approached the ledge. There was nothing to stop him now; everyone wanted him gone so why not make their wish come true. He had three options either way ever since Mephisto listed them off, only one was fresh in his head as he looked down at the hard ground below. It was pretty far down; he’d cherish every moment as he took his shoes off and stepped onto the edge. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and leaned back; the air felt much clearer and easier to breathe as he held his arms out. 

He was falling, he finally felt like he could fly; like he was going to see his adoptive dad and mom soon. Memories flashed through his head reliving all the happy days of his youth, the tears left his eyes as he felt a smile come across his face. May he finally be at peace as his body plummeted towards the hard ground below, he was ready to finally escape all the hell in his head. It was like he could feel every second slip away; it was so silent and peaceful; his head was finally quiet for once. 

It didn’t seem to last long as screams from below and above were heard; who could care about him at this point, it was too late. Rin didn’t blame anyone though, he knew it was all true; every last word that came out of his classmate's mouths were true. He knew it and there was no longer a reason to deny it; he was the reason his mother was gone, he killed his own adoptive father, he was going to become a real demon. A chuckle escaped from his lips as the world went blank; the last thing he heard was a loud scream then silence. 

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Hours passed and the world was still silent, did he really do it? Did he finally disappear from the world? Did he finally make everyone happy? It was dark and cold, where was he? Why did he feel so stiff? Why did his head hurt so much? If he was dead wouldn’t all the pain finally go away? What the hell is going on?! 

There was a sudden tap on his face and a muffled voice that followed; the touch was warm and comforting, he couldn’t help but lean into it. There were a few sighs of relief heard before a pair of arms..thin arms wrapped around his body and pulled him tight. His eyes slowly fluttered open to meet a blurry bright room, he couldn’t tell if he was waking up or falling back to sleep. There was a few more taps on each of his cheeks as he finally opened his eyes back up to meet a concerned face and some green hair. He was extremely confused as he tried to sit up but was quickly pushed back down by whoever was on top of him. 

“Rin, hey can you hear me? It’s Amaimon..your half-brother, I need you to stay awake for me. Please.” The voice was gentle and careful as there was a hand slowly playing with the boys' hair in a soothing way. He was purring without notice before scanning the room, his vision was slowly focusing as he saw a huffing figure in the corner of the room. 

“Amaimon..What happened? Where am I?” Rin’s voice was rough and faded as he finally made eye contact with the demon sitting on top of him. For some reason he felt safe for once around the one person who tried to attack him constantly and made him loose control. There was a small huff from the figure in the corner as Okumura once again turned his attention to see Mephisto; his shirt was ripped and his hair was a mess as he got up and approached the two. 

“My-My Rin. Poor little Rin Okumura..they hurt you. You tried to jump off the roof and Amaimon caught you before you got too close to the ground. You were smiling while you fell and we couldn’t seem to snap you out of it so Amaimon took action and handled it. I took care of your brother and classmates but don’t worry those fools are fine..they just saw a side of me that is not very nice.” Mephisto kept his casual cool tone as he sat on his desk, taking a small sip of whatever he was drinking before he continued. “I took it upon myself to take you in for the time being since your own blood didn’t want to pay attention to you. You will be taking class with me and when you’re ready to go back to cram school Amaimon will sit in with you.” 

Rin only gave a half nod before his vision started to blur, his chest was tight and his breath hitched. Amaimon just leaned down and hugged him; whispering in his ear trying to reassure him that it’s okay. Slowly Okumura understood why Satan out of all people wanted Humans and Demons to live in peace; though it didn’t change the fact he wanted to kill him. He mumbled a small apology before falling out of consciousness completely; there was something soft placed on top of him as weight was lifted off. 

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Rin must have slept for the rest of the day; when he woke, he met Amaimon’s gaze from the corner of the room. He slowly sat up to feel a sharp pain in his head and his back cracked at the sudden movement; Amaimon had moved and the room was empty. Okumura was confused as he looked around trying to figure out where the demon went but to his surprise the male was back before he could think twice. 

“I brought some food. It’s small but we don’t know how your stomach is going to hold after not eating for days.” Amaimon handed the food out for Rin to take with a gentle smile, this was all so different from when they first met. He actually cared about the half-demon instead of trying to kill him, Rin’s eyes were watering as he accepted the food and made room for the other to sit. 

Amaimon sat next to his younger brother and watched him closely eat; sadly, Rin could only eat half before the urge to puke was too powerful for him to handle. Despite the demons’ fast ability, he couldn’t avoid the spew that landed in his lap from the dark-haired boy; he waited until Rin was finished emptying most of his stomach to grab a new pair of clothes. Once he came back the half-demon had tears streaming down his face as he silently whined for the green-haired boy. His eyes were full of fear as the demon popped up in front of his half-brother trying to soothe him the best he could. 

“Rin-Rin I’m right here. You’re safe with me. I swear I won't let anything happen to you.” Amaimon gently pulled the fearful boy into a soft hug letting him lean into the promising touch. It broke the heart people thought he didn’t have, to see the once confident future exorcist so broken and run down. There was a small mumble from Rin but the only thing the demon could hear was ‘what did you call me?’ in a small voice. There was no venom behind the tone only a small faint tone of hope was heard as Amaimon leaned up to look Rin in the eyes. 

“Rin-Rin..is that okay?” He asked in a soft tone hoping he didn’t bring back some bad memories. Instead, the half-demon nodded his head and leaned back into the green-haired boy. “Then I will call you Rin-Rin and with that I promise to protect you from everyone and everything that tries to harm my brother. Even if dad tries to hurt you..I’ll protect you. I promise.” There was a small sob heard after that; neither of the boys could tell which one was crying but at this point both were in tears. Rin was the first to look Amaimon in the eyes like he was an actual person and Amaimon despite trying to kill the boy before now saw him as someone who needs protecting and not always the protector. 

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The two ended up on the couch together; cuddling under a blanket. For the first time Amaimon felt like he could relax and Rin felt like he was finally safe. It had been months since he received any comforting physical touch while conscious and he hoped it never ended. Despite the demon being Satan’s full blood and a demon with a hell of a bloodlust; Amaimon was a good person. Rin couldn’t ask for better right now, he felt more at home than he ever had. 

The boys must of fell asleep because by the time Mephisto was back the room was silent and the atmosphere was calming instead of full of anxiety and anger. The director snapped a few photos of his adorable brothers on the couch as he cherishes the scene. Never in his life did he think Amaimon out of all people would have such a soft spot for his younger half-brother. 

Mephisto had just gotten back from a hearing that centered around the events that cause Rin to near suicide. Yukio received another warning on his card and a 3-day suspension from teaching and missions. The main ones that caused the bullying were suspended and sent home for a week; having to explain to their families why they did what they did. The others involved got a 4 days suspension with 3 days of after school detention. Mephisto and Shura were given temporary custody over Rin and a pause was put on any kind of training until the half-demon was mentally stable again. Though justice wasn’t rightly served in the man's eyes he knew his way of punishing the ones who caused this would be cruel and wrong so he left it up to the higher-ups to deal with. His main focus now was to make sure his little half-brother didn’t go through this again because if he did; hell would literally break loose. 

Fin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! I wrote this before continuing my other chapter of 'It'll get better I promise' BUT my mental health hasn't been the best so instead of reflecting that onto my main story I made a side story. I thought about making this multiple chapters but I'm going to wait to see how this does to decide if I should continue this or not. Anyways, I did at first feel bad about making some of the characters seem like actual pricks but through sources and just watching clips of the anime after finishing it + reading into some of the mange I have come to a conclusion. All of them can burn in hell especially Yukio after he treated his older brother like he's not also the son of Satan and acts like he's so much better than Rin. Anyways I feel like Amaimon and Mephisto would be good brothers/half-brothers despite trying to kill Rin cause honestly I feel like once it's revealed to everyone just how much Rin is hurting it really affects the two. Also since we didn't get much on Amaimon or Mephisto in the anime I feel like they secretly are some good people. Anyways, that's all I wrote this in one night so please excuse any errors/mistakes I made but other than that I would love some feedback if I should continue this. I hope you enjoy/enjoyed reading this and if you did please leave some Kudos.


	2. Dancing with Your Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Rin's attempt something sets him back and he finds a way to cope with the angry voice in his head though it isn't a healthy way of coping. Along the way he finally reunites with a special person and even gets to dance with them for a short bit of time. After a long stressful day, therapy is thrown on the table to try and help the half-demon recover after all the traumatic stuff he had went through in the past few months. A bit of fluff towards the end but be cautious while reading and please make sure to read my trigger warning at the beginning. Enjoy!

Chapter  II

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Hello! I got some good feedback on the first chapter so, I decided to write a second chapter. Thank you so much for all the kudos and clicks on my story even if you didn’t read it, at least it interested you enough to click on it. So, while I write this section (I always write this little part before I start typing away at the actual story) I don’t know what to expect. Like always I will try to trigger warning this the best I can. I hope you enjoy and don’t forget to share your thoughts. I love  you dumplings. Also, this is based off a song called ‘Dancing with your ghost’ by Sasha Sloan, it’s a very good song and I really suggest you check it out (especially the slowed and reverbed version, it hits different).

Bold text – Bad voice

Italics – Good voice/Yuri Egin

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Trigger warning: Self-Harm, Blood, Suicidal thoughts, Therapy Mention, & Dissociation

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Rin couldn’t remember what had happened after he fell asleep next to his half-brother Amaimon, the rest of the day was a blur. Even the day after his attempt wasn’t much better; every time he tried to remember it always came back as a giant blur. The only memory he had was the exact moment he tried to end it all, it continued to replay in his head like it had just happened. He hadn’t seen anyone since that day, Mephisto and Shura kept his classmates and brother far away from him in fear of it triggering him. Amaimon was always by his side making sure he was okay; it was all so different now.

Mephisto stayed with the boys in the room for the next two days while the half-demon recovered. There was no other option, everyone worried that if they left Rin alone for a second, he would try to take his life again. The mention of his own brother would cause him to tense up, there was always a sense of panic in the air whenever someone mentioned him being around Yukio. Though he did not hate his own twin, he was aware that he ruined his brothers’ only chance of having a normal life, he would no longer fulfill his dream of being a doctor as long as Rin was still in the way. That thought ran around constantly in the dark-haired males head every time he thought about how much things had changed and how different it all could have been if he was just ‘normal’.

Life hurt in general and it just got worse after Rin’s powers were fully activated and the sword could no longer hold it in. Everything hurt, home no longer existed as there was nowhere to call home; nowhere was safe for the boy without putting him in some kind of danger. He wasn’t sure if he even bled red anymore, red blood was human blood so if he bled any other color..he was no longer a human. He couldn’t bring himself to test that theory knowing that if his blood wasn’t red it would crush him, though he already had been crushed by his own family; what would make it so different now?

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The boy must have been stuck in his head for some time when he felt someone or something shake him out of the  daze he got stuck in. Looking around to try and see who was there, he was met with a small voice that sounded close to Kuro. Once his eyes landed on his familiar, he just sighed before bringing his knees up to his chest and curling into a ball. Realizing he was alone in the room for once it was starting to hurt once again, the silence felt unbearable as he tried to blow Kuro off. For some reason he wanted nothing to do with the cat, he hadn’t even before his attempt; maybe because the cat reminded him too much of his adoptive dad. He missed the man so much, he blamed himself daily after his death knowing his last words were so harsh and cold. Yukio made it clear that it was his fault on the day of the funeral but Rin didn’t blame his little brother because it was true, it was really all his fault and there was no way to reverse it now.

Tears slowly rolled out of the half- demons' eyes, it stung as he tried to wipe them away before Kuro noticed. Sadly, his familiar caught on and was on his way to comfort the boy but he was quickly pushed away as Rin got up and exited the room, there was no stopping him as the door closed as quick as it opened. There was no telling what he was up to or who could try and harm him while he’s out on his own, Kuro meowed in distress trying to find someone's nearby attention as he feared for the half-human boy.

Rin only made it a few steps away from the room before he was running down the halls, he needed to escape; he felt trapped and needed a way out. His head was loud again as he stumbled down the stairs of wherever he was, it was so unfamiliar to him. His breath hitched as he slid into walls and fell to the floor trying to find an exit of some sort, the voice wouldn’t shut up even as he silently begged it to. He was ready to scream as he slid into a hallway full of students all chattering amongst themselves, he was in the school and he barely knew his way around but luckily, he knew where the entrance was. He pushed through the crowds as he kept his head low ignoring all of the calls and comments about his strange behavior, he made a beeline for the entrance that was clear in his sight. He almost made it there but something...no someone stood in his path and blocked his only escape as he ran straight into them.

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There was a strange silence in the hallway as everything went quiet; a whimper escaped from one of the two people now on the floor. Rin continued to keep his eyes low to the ground as he watched a hand reach for a pair of glasses that must of fell. Normally the half-demon would help in an instant but something made him freeze in place, the anxiety was rising as he tried not to think of who he just ran in to. The voice only seemed to scream now as his body started to tremble, his hands were clammy as he slipped them into his pockets and waited for someone to say something. He just wanted to get up and run far away but he needed to know that whoever he just ran into was okay first, stupid caring nature of his really got in the way sometimes. There was a sudden hand on his shoulder as it startled him enough to finally look up and immediately locked eye contact with the one person, he didn’t want to see for  a while ; he failed on trying to make this person finally happy.

“Rin? Where are you going? Are you  okay..I heard what happened? I just wanted to say I’m-” Yukio spoke up but was quickly silenced as the half-demon backed up quickly and shook his head. All the rage, sadness, fear, every emotion he held in was finally bubbling to the surface and he felt himself cracking once again.

“I was trying to do something right! I was going to make everyone happy by getting out of their way. You could become a doctor and wouldn’t have to worry about stupid Rin. Don’t be fucking sorry!” Rin slowly got up as tears fell from his eyes, he held a hand up to his mouth trying to silence the sob as he pushed past his twin brother. It hurt so much and it was never going to end, it hurt too much; he just wanted a way out, a way to make it all stop for good. 

Once again Rin was running but this time he didn’t know where to, he only hoped that something would stop the pain. He didn’t look up to see where he was until he stopped, the area felt too familiar as he finally raised his tearful gaze up at his dormitory. The memories flew back into his head as he walked into the rundown building; all the cooking memories, the good nights when his brother would sit up and laugh with him, all the studies, all the memories that once made his heart happy now felt like someone was stabbing him. The boy found himself wandering into the kitchen as he looked around, his eyes locked onto a knife as the voice suddenly screamed louder than before.

“ ** COME ON! IT’LL STOP THE PAIN. DON’T BE SO WEAK, YOU WANT CONTROL BACK DON’T YOU?! TAKE IT BACK OKUMURA YOU STUPID WORTHLESS PIECE OF TRASH!” **

Rin let out a soft chuckle before he was dragging his whole body towards the knife, his mind didn’t protest but his heart did. ‘Sometimes following your heart isn’t the best option’ he thought as he reached out. His hand seemed to try to pull away on its own but there wasn’t much stopping it as he grabbed the knife and turned away before the voice could speak again. He made his way out of the building as his head filled with some kind of sick laughter that silenced his heart from protesting any further.

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Okumura found himself back up on the same roof he tried to jump from, the same place he would practice trying to control his flame and where he used to talk to Kuro about how he was feeling. The wind blew heavily as he sat down on a bench and looked at the knife, examining every part of it that interest him. Something caught his attention as he sat the blade in his palm and it  burned..it actually burned as he pulled it away and thought hard to himself. ‘Holy metal’ was the only thing that came to his mind as the sick laughter returned, this time it was louder and deeper than before as he thought about the red blood once more. Was he really human at this point, was he finally turning into what everyone told him he was going to become? The voice began its violent fit once again as he moved the blade away from his palm and placed it down next to him as he listened to the voice.

** “YOU WANT TO FEEL HUMAN AGAIN DON’T YOU? YOU WANT TO PROVE YOU’RE STILL THE SAME AS YUKIO HUH?! YOU’RE JUST A STUPID DEMON OKUMURA, YOU WILL NEVER BE HUMAN AGAIN!”  ** The voice was more aggressive as the half-demon stared down at the knife.

“I’m not a  demon.. ” Rin choked out as his throat felt tight and he was trembling once again.

** “YOU’RE NOT HUMAN YOU FOOL!” ** The voice snapped back as pure venom was spat.

“I’M HUMAN!” Rin picked up the knife and went over his forearm, watching the blood slowly flow out. It was red, the blood was really  red..he was still human. A hysterical laugh was forced out of the male as he stared down watching it drip down his arm and spill on the bench. The voice was finally silent for once as the knife fell and hit the ground, there was blood staining the blade. 

A silence fell before a loud sob escaped the half-human, his body trembled violently as he stood up and looked over the edge. He was finally cracking; the fake smile was fading and was replaced with a frown, his eyes once full of life were now dull and emotionless. He no longer walked with his head high, instead it hung and he avoided eye contact with everyone. His carefree persona was replaced with an anxiety ridden trembling one. Rin Okumura was no longer the Rin Okumura he knew.

_ “Feel better?” _ The voice was small and gentle now, it was almost comforting.

“I feel  human.. ” Rin choked out as he went over to a plant where he’d hide the knife.

_ “I know sweetie. I know. Go now, they will worry soon.” _ The voice whispered before fading away, it was once again silent as the half-demon turned and exited the rooftop.

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Mephisto and  Amaimon were on their way back to the room, they were summoned to the conseil to give an update on Rin. It lasted longer than they thought and they wished they could have contacted someone to check up on their half-brother when they were gone. The guilt ate away at both of the men as they hurried down the hallway, something didn’t exactly feel right in the atmosphere. Mephisto contacted Shura when they arrived back to the school, making sure she was on her way in case something happened while they were gone. As both the demons approached the door the meowing from Kuro grew more frantic, there were no actual words only his faint cry for someone to help. The anxiety in the air seemed to come down like a freight train as both scrambled to open the door.

As the door flew open it was revealed that Rin’s familiar was crying as Mephisto bent down to figure out what was going on.  Amaimon pushed past the two and entered the room to see it strangely empty, the anxiety built as the realization that Rin was missing became a reality. Shura was down the hall as she sprinted towards the frantic scene, Kuro was finally calming down enough to tell the three what had happened. As the cat explained there was a sense of rage in the air as Mephisto thanked the cat before entering the room. Instantly he sat at his desk and started going through a large book, his eyes were dark and cold.  Amaimon had left to search for the younger one as Shura paced around the room, trying to think of where Rin could of run off to.

“If anyone has touched a hair on his head...I’ll kill them. I’ll kill them all! What if Yukio finally tried  to..he’ll die if I find out that bastard had anything to do with this. Rin has been through enough. WHY DO THEY KEEP TRYING TO HURT HIM?! DAMN IT! ALL HE WANTED WAS SOMEONE TO FINALLY ACCEPT HIM!” Mephisto had never been so full of emotion as tears leaked out of his eyes, he slammed the book closed and began to remove his coat. Shura tried to calm the enraged man down but there was no hope, it was too late as he pushed her aside. He was ready to give Yukio a piece of his mind as he marched towards the door but soon stopped in his tracks as the door slowly opened. Everyone's’ eyes became wide as the door revealed  something they never truly expected.

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Rin stood in the doorway; he was wearing a dark hoodie to hide the scar that now stayed on his arm. It’d take some time to heal due to not using a normal knife to create the scar. His eyes were dull as his cheeks were stained with old tear marks, he didn’t bother to try and fake that he was fine. There was no point after all, they had witnessed him falling from a building hoping that he would die. He couldn’t hide it either way; he was completely drained from pretending, he didn’t want to pretend to be happy and careless. His dead gaze fell upon the two adults in front of him as he cocked his head and gave a weak smile before taking a few steps. His vision went dark as his body slammed against the floor and the world was silent once again.

It was cold? Did he just die? No, that’s not right but then, where was he? It was dark around him, there was only a blurry figure in front of him.  Wait..how could he see if he passed out?! There were so many questions as he slowly blinked the blurriness out of his eyes; his gaze landed on a small woman standing in front of him, her eyes were full of tears but a gentle smile was plastered on her face as she reached out to touch his face.

“ _ Rin..Rin _ _ Okumura, my precious baby boy. Look how much you’ve grown since the last time I saw you, my pretty boy. I know you’ve been through a lot, it’s time to relax now.” _ The voice was strangely  gentle and familiar as the woman pulled the boy into her tight embrace, it was calming and warm .

“ Who..Who are you? You sound  familiar..like the person in my head. The calm one who reassures me and doesn’t judge me after I do something really...really stupid.” Rin was oddly calm, normally he would be taken back and even a bit startled but instead, he leaned into the woman's warm hug.

_ “My poor baby, you never got to meet me. I’m Yuri Egin  _ _ or..your _ _ mother. I’m sorry about that asshole's tantrum earlier, god look at your arm. I’m so sorry, I tried to calm him down but I got pushed away once again. Look at you, you’re so beautiful. You have your father's eyes and my soft hair my love.”  _ The woman ran __ a soft hand in her son's hair as he purred in response. They sank to the ground as she held him, the comfort he needed was being handed to him.

“Mom...I miss you. I’m sorry for killing you...I should have never been born!” Rin cried out as he melted against his mother's chest like a scared child. The  woman only hushed him and comforted him; the silence was actually relaxing for once. But it was soon interrupted by a song that filled the air and made the  woman jump up.

_ “My favorite song! Dance with me, I’ve always dreamed of dancing with my son.”  _ Yuri held out a hand and waited for her son to grab it.

Rin was hesitant at first but took the chance to spend some more time with his mother, though he had so many more questions those didn’t matter right now. He wrapped his arms around his mother who was fairly smaller than him, her long black-hair hung down over his arms as they slowly danced. The woman sang along to the song as she held her son close to her, her singing was beautiful as it filled his ears. They danced around in a circle for what felt was hours, Okumura never wanted to leave but he knew it would have to end at some point. The song faded away as the woman slowly pulled away, her grip was gone but her smile stayed on her face. It was a pure smile as her eyes were filled with joy, she turned away after blowing a small kiss to her son. He wanted to run after her but something kept him once again stuck in his place but this time his heart felt happy and full as he waved goodbye, tears streamed down his cheeks as everything went black once again.

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There was the sound of static that filled the boys’ ears as he slowly came to, there was a sense of relief once again in the air as everyone watched the half-demon slowly come back to reality. He wasn’t aware of how long he had been out or even what happened while he was out of it. His eyes fluttered open and closed a few times before meeting a set of soft green ones, staring down at him with a small smile. Rin shied away from the person before moving his hand to touch his head, only to notice there was a cold wet rag sitting right under his hair.  Amaimon was sleeping in a chair across from the couch as Mephisto sat at his desk reading a book like usual. It took the confused boy a second to realize his head was resting in Shura’s lap, her eyes were more gentle than usual. The half-demon let out a small groan as he sat up slowly with the help of  boobzilla of course. His hand brushed over his cheek to notice it was freshly damp, the rag fell in his lap as a new hand rested on his forehead for a second.

“What happened?” The dark-haired males voice was weak and scratchy as he looked around with a confused expression.

“Well, me and  Amaimon got back from a sudden meeting. So sorry about leaving you my dear but it was urgent. We found Kuro in a frantic state as the room was empty and you were missing.  Amaimon was the first to go looking for you but you returned before any of the rest of us could leave. You had this look in your  eyes..so dead. You didn’t say anything but when you took a few steps you collapsed.” Mephisto darted his eyes over to the woman still standing in front of Rin with a strange grin.

“I’m Aimi, I was called here once you kind of came to since you were unresponsive and wouldn’t stop staring. Ha!  Amaimon thought you were about to like explode; you have a really good half-brother right there. I figured that you started to dissociate because you weren’t responding at the least bit and you had a pretty wild stare. You’re also running a slight fever but it seems from what I can tell, it went away once you came back to join us in reality. Now, I know reality really sucks but you have to stay down here with us kid. Can’t have you slipping away in the middle of a battle like when you’re going to defeat  satan .” The woman nudged Rin a bit as she chuckled with the last sentence.  Amaimon woke up just in time to shoot her a warning look, making her go silent and back away to allow Shura to take the lead this time.

“Rin, you’ll be starting recovery therapy with Mrs. Aimi tomorrow. You guys will be working on your eating habits, emotions, and bad memories you have.  Amaimon will be there with you but he will have something to distract him so it’ll be totally private, he’ll only be there in case she tries to pull something.” Shura played with the half- demons' hair as he purred once again, he nodded in agreement before leaning back against  boobzilla . He was strangely tired once again as he felt the rag placed back on his head, the weight seemed to shift as someone else sat down to replace the woman who once trained him. Instead  Amaimon sat and allowed his half-brother to rest his head in his lap, Shura’s voice trailed off as there were goodbyes heard. Rin slowly fell out of consciousness as the safe feeling once again returned and wrapped around him like a warm hug.

Fin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Hello again. I hope you enjoyed reading or are going to enjoy reading this (if you go to notes before reading the story). I hope I could please you with my writing today, I worked pretty hard at this chapter as it is currently 5:30 am as I am typing this. Now this chapter does have some self-harm involved in it. I, myself struggle with s/h and I know how hard it can be to stay clean, I recently had my own set back and it does eat away at me. I got a bit in my feelings while writing that section so please be cautious of reading it. Anyways, thank you again for all the kudos and clicks I'm really glad people have enjoyed my writing. This chapter is mainly focused in on Rin with two special guest, one is a character I generally made up in my head cause why not. If you would like to share thoughts or even have any ideas for what you'd like to see next please comment and don't forget to leave kudos my little dumplings. Until next time! Thanks for reading.


	3. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin goes through his first therapy session after the incident which slowly leads up to his decision to return to school. On the day of his return things don't go as smoothly as anyone thought they would. Let's just say by the end of it Bon is put in his place. Pretty cute fluff at the end if included <3.

Chapter III

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Hello again my dumplings! I am truly grateful for all the people who took the time to leave comments, kudos, bookmarks and even took time to click on my writing. It’s truly an honor that I can please people with my writing as I truly do enjoy getting feedback on this. I know I know; ‘ Simpai you haven’t even released a second chapter of your  Haikyuu fanfic but you’re releasing a 3 rd chapter of this.’ My laptop recently broke and I have to wait till next month to get it fixed sadly BUT the second chapter of the other fanfic is almost ready. I have to add a few more detail and then edit it to make sure I didn’t put anything stupid. Again, if you like a little family/parent  au and  Haikyuu I would recommend checking out my other fanfic after reading or whatever you want to do with this one. Also, I’m thinking of adding a little friendship and even future relationship with Rin and someone else that’ll be included at the end with a pretty good amount of fluff. With that being said; once again I try to trigger warning this the best I can so please don’t skip over that due to some sensitive topics in my writing. I hope you enjoy!

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Trigger Warning: Anxiety attack, Healing scar, Therapy, Dissociation, and Blacking out.

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Once again Rin had no memory of what happened after he fell asleep, he could barely recall what had happened moments before he did. All that was fresh in his mind was the sight of his mother and how they danced around in wherever they were. He wanted answers but he knew he’d have to wait till he saw her again; he still wondered who the other person she was referring to. Who threw that tantrum that pushed him over the edge? Why did he let the voice control him? Did his mother not actually blame him for her death?

There were so many questions going round in a  circle in the sleeping males head as he laid there. Out of the blue there was once again a light tap on his face, the touch was cold and short as his eyes slowly fluttered open. For the first time there wasn’t a sense of anxiety in the air as he woke up and looked around to see Mephisto sitting on his desk with a small smile. The messy-haired boy sat up and stretched before returning a small smile towards his older half-brother; who got up and made his way towards him.

“Darling, you have your first therapy session today remember? Shura and Amaimon are already in the office waiting for you. We let you sleep in for a bit since you were really out of it yesterday. Get ready and meet me out in the hallway, okay?” Mephisto gave the half-demon a head pat before exiting the room to allow the other to get ready.

Rin groaned as he slowly got up from the couch, his back and knees cracking in the process; geez did he feel like he was getting old. There was a small bag with some of his things in it such as self-care and a new pair of clothes; he’d have to make a trip back to the dormitory to grab some more clothes later. He did as he was told and freshened up before getting dressed, his hair was once again back to its normal state though he kind of missed the bedhead look; it was kind of cute. Looking around the room once more he made his way towards the door; trying to mentally prepare himself for whatever topic could be brought to light as he exited the room for the first time in forever with his head out of the clouds.

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Mephisto greeted him silently with a grin before leading him towards a door with a special key in it. The key was a bright blue color with a bit of red accent. The man turned the key and opened a door to reveal a strange scene. It was a dull room with beige colored walls and black matte chairs, this must have been the office. Rin’s eyes darted around at all the pretty art on the wall as he slowly walked inside, a bit startled by the door closing behind him. Shura and  Amaimon were waving him over to where they sat as he slowly shuffled over, he was suddenly anxious and slowly felt his anxiety climb. 

** “Stop being so tense, humans know how to relax. You are human after all? You stupid demon fool!” **

The voice startled the half-demon enough to make him look around. The venom stung in his head as the voice let out that sick laughter once again. He wanted to curl up into a ball but there was no time as the woman from yesterday walked out to get him and Amaimon. Shura followed behind but made sure that it was clear she was only going to be outside the door just for extra security. Rin followed shyly behind the woman as he shoved his clammy hands into his sweatshirt pocket, he kept his eyes low to the ground.

They all eventually made it to the room where two white fluffy looking chairs sat, one was in front of a desk while the other was behind. There was a beanbag chair in the corner where  Amaimon would sit on his phone through the session. Rin was dragging his feet to try and buy some kind of time to ease his anxiety just a little bit but it wasn’t long till he was sat down in the chair. His half-brother was in the corner with headphones and his phone out; pretty much zoned in on his own thing. That left the woman and Rin to start their session, who knows what could happen from here.

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Rin stared at the one named Aimi with dull eyes, he didn’t want to show that he was so anxious to the point he felt sick. He couldn’t hold eye contact so his eyes stayed looking at her mouth so it seemed like he was slightly making eye contact. There was a faint sound of typing before the woman sat up straight and placed her hands on the table.

“How are you feeling today Rin?” Aimi’s voice was gentle and sweet but something about it scared the half-demon as his eyes instantly darted down to the floor.

“I’m good.” That was a partial lie but he was feeling a bit better today, at least  psychically and a bit mentally.

“I see. Can I ask some personal questions?” Aimi leaned backwards as her chair squeaked a bit. Rin bit his lip before slowly nodding to give her the ‘okay’ to ask away.

“Was there a reason you tried to take your own life by jumping off the top of the school building? How long have you been thinking about it? What were the events that led up to it?” The woman was spitting questions like a flamethrower, throwing the male off a little more than before.

“I wanted to feel alive. I thought about it since the day we got back from Bon’s old place. They all started acting differently towards me and the voice wouldn’t shut up.” Rin slowly made eye contact with the woman when the air suddenly shifted, his eyes were slowly becoming lifeless once more as he tried to give a small smile.

“They? Who is ‘they’? Also tell me about the voice, it could help me a lit-.” Aimi’s voice slowly trailed off as something growled in the half-demon's head. His hearing slowly started to fade as he felt like he was drowning but in what. There was no water and he was in a chair, what was causing him to feel  so..on edge?

** “Don’t you dare tell them about us. They’ll call you crazy and send you right to the conseil. They’ll execute you like the demon you are.”  ** The voice was intimidating and powerful as the room around Rin slowly started to fade in and out of his vision. He looked up to see the womans mouth moving but there was no sound; at least to him there wasn’t. The sick laughter seemed to fill the air as everything went black, he could only hear a slight sound of static.

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The room around was no longer black; instead, it was bright and there were weird things on the ground. The static faded as the males' vision slowly came back, it was silent as he felt someone's arms wrap around him, there was a small sigh that was heard as he looked down. Once again, he was with his mother but this time the room was different, they were in a field full of flowers but the flowers were all grey. They sank down to the ground like the time before as his mother held onto him heavily, they sat in silence for a few solid  minutes before the woman finally spoke.

_ “I’m sorry. He was getting angry. I had to pull you out before he did something that all of us would regret. He was supposed to be here to apologize but when he found out you were going to therapy; he didn’t want to be revealed.”  _ Yuri’s soft voice was slightly shaken up as she felt her son tense in her arms. She shot up a small soft glare before ruffling his hair and moving his head down into her lap.

“ Mom..who is he?” Rin couldn’t help but ask out of curiosity and fear, he had an idea but he couldn’t bring himself to accept it.

_ “You will meet him soon; everything just has to calm down. He hasn’t been the same since your attempt but won't tell anyone how he’s actually feeling. Once he’s ready you will meet him. I promise.”  _ The woman began to hum a soft tune as she played with the soft hair on her son's head. It was peaceful once again and he couldn’t ask for anything better, though he still wondered if the other voice really was his ‘father’. It was obvious though his mother did not want to speak about it any further so he stayed silent just enjoying the soft touch.

The world slowly went dark once more, Rin’s eyes fluttered open for a few minutes as he tried to keep himself from slipping into sleep. Yuri only continued to hum as she gave her child's cheek a small pat, letting him know that he was okay and it was time to go. Despite the protest he wanted to put up he could no longer fight it; his body was heavy and tired as he slipped into the long-awaited sleep. 

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The static once again filled his ears as he slowly came back down to earth, there was someone holding him upright as he blinked the blurriness out of his eyes, he was still tired and his body felt extremely heavy. His head was on someone's’ shoulder as he struggled to keep himself awake, there was another hand pressed against his back rubbing gentle circles. There was a faint whisper and a small movement in the room before anyone spoke out loud to try and get the half-demons attention. 

“Hey Rin? You with us? You started staring and then blacked out, your half-brother there caught you before you could hit the floor. He’s got some interesting speed.” Aimi sat in her chair and crossed her legs. Rin only groaned before slowly sitting up and looking around,  Amaimon still had headphones on and was occupied on his phone; only briefly looking up at the younger one every few seconds. Shura was now in the room behind him rubbing his back, the blue-eyed male didn’t say anything at first; trying to pull himself together before speaking.

“I think...I want to go back to school.” His voice was full of dullness as he looked up to see Aimi slowly nodding her head. Nobody else spoke knowing that telling him anything different would probably make matters worse, so his wish was granted and they would allow him to return to school in two days. Knowing the information Rin fell out of consciousness like always, it seemed to be common whenever he came back from seeing his mother, he was always incredibly tired. 

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The next day passed like it was nothing, there wasn’t anything really interesting that had happened in general. The only thing anyone talked about was therapy and how school is going to work from now until Rin is stable again.  Amaimon will sit in with the half-demon for the whole day while Shura and Mephisto will be nearby. If anything went wrong, they were all only a text away; though the half-demon would probably just shut down at any kind of conflict at this point. It seemed like things would be fine, at least whenever he  thought about it there wasn’t a voice yelling at him to die constantly.

The night before the school day was a little rougher than anyone thought it would be. Rin couldn’t seem to calm down for the life of him; he curled up in a corner and couldn’t sleep, it seemed the taunts were haunting his mind. He wanted to scream but didn’t have the energy to;  plus, even if he did, he would end up waking everyone up. He bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood, there was no hope that he would have a normal school day what so ever. He could feel the anxiety bubble over as he started to hyperventilate, he had really lost himself enough to allow himself to spiral into an anxiety attack. 

The half-demon seemed to calm himself down enough to get up and take a shower, something about the sound of water made him calm. He enjoyed the sound of rain so the shower wasn’t that much different. He freshened up and gave himself a little bit of a pep talk before going back to the couch to lay down. He needed to get some kind of sleep or else school would be more of a disaster than it already was going to be. He could hear all the voices and all the overwhelming emotion coming back as he threw a pillow over his face. He tried to drown out everything as he slowly slipped into a slumber.

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The time finally came, it was time to return to school for the first time in nearly a whole week. Everyone tried not to show their own worry but were failing pretty hard as the room was constantly silent and filled with anxiety, which only made Rin feel more and more anxious by the second. He wanted to back out but he couldn’t, he wanted to prove to everyone in cram school that he wasn’t weak. Amaimon tried to reassure him it was okay to not go but his mind was already set on walking into the class with his head high. So, with that they both left and made their way to the cram school building with just a turn of a key.

“I think I’m  going to puke.” Rin chuckled as he shoved his shaky hands into his pocket and walked with his head up, he could see  Amaimons face for the first time without being forced to look up. His sword was on his back like usual along with his school bag which felt extremely light. His hair was a bit different this time, it was the messy bedhead look which kind of fit him as well. He didn’t feel like doing much to his hair plus he needed a bit more of a change for now. His uniform was freshly ironed and fit like usual.

The two approached the door and exchanged quick looks before  Amaimon turned the knob and opened the door. They were a bit late but that was planned, Rin would only have half a class with whatever teacher before his brother came in. As he slowly entered the room silence fell, eyes turned towards the half-demon as he tried not to look at the ground. Giving a small nod towards the teacher the male and  Amaimon would walk down the aisle and sit in the two empty seats in the back. The eyes followed which only made it just a little harder for the dark-haired male not want to curl up and hide.

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Things seemed to only get worse once they sat down, there were faint mumbles heard and the rage inside  Amaimon was visibly growing. Rin would occasionally give him a small nudge to let him know that he was fine, though he was extremely anxious to see his twin for the first time since they ran into each other. He tried his best to pay attention but he was struggling to see so he just put his head down and waited for the day to end. His half-brother sat on his phone trying not to pay too much attention to the people around him. 

Sometime must have passed as Rin drifted off into a small nap before he was awakened by sudden movements and someone shaking him. It took him a little to lift his head and look around to see Renzo waving him over, his expression was full of obvious confusion as a sudden voice spoke up.

“Rin go sit by Renzo.” The voice didn’t belong to  Amaimon which kind of scared the half-demon. This couldn’t  mean..could it? His eyes shot up for a second to see Yukio standing in the front of the class, his look was as stern as usual. The male shot a look over at his half-brother who looked like he was ready to take a bite out of the one who’s going to sit in Rin’s place. Standing up the blue-eyed male suddenly ran into a brick-shit built of a boy, immediately he wanted to crumble onto the floor as his eyes darted to the ground. He slowly scooted past Bon as he gave a small gesture to Amaimon, he shuffled nervously over to where the pink-haired male sat. His whole body trembled as he sat down and looked at the floor.

“Oku..Rin? You’re okay, I won’t hurt you. I promise.” Renzo had a strangely soft tone as he spoke, it was a little reassuring but Rin still couldn’t bring himself to look up at him. The world slowly started to become blurry but there was no static, he could still hear everything going on around him. The floor started to shake..or maybe he was shaking but something was shaking in general. The desk seemed to get closer and closer by the second before an arm reached out and wrapped around the half-demons' torso and pulled him in close. There was a small whisper that was hard to make out but it sounded something along the lines of ‘I hope this is okay. I need you to calm down’. The voice wasn’t familiar in Rin’s cloudy head; he looked up to see the one holding onto him was Renzo. For some reason his heart skipped a beat as he nuzzled close, there were whispers from around the room that wondered what Renzo was doing. Yukio seemed to get everyone's attention as the pink-haired male continued to try and calm down the anxiety ridden blue-eyed male. 

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Amaimon must have left to grab someone since there was no sight of him whenever the half-demon looked up. He was struggling to stay awake and at this point his head was against his seat partners chest, there was a soft touch that was almost like his mothers. Renzo always seemed to be the one who came to the rescue whenever Rin was on his own after the whole class turned on him once again. There was always a feel that he could be himself, despite the fact Renzo was still friends with Bon or so he thought. The two didn’t seem to make any kind of eye contact with each other while they switched spots. That thought seemed to be too much to think about as Rin found his head slowly slipping into the others lap.

Amaimon must have found either Shura or Mephisto because there was an intense feeling in the air as someone entered and everything fell silent. The dark-haired boys head was laying in the pink-haired boys lap as he gently played with his hair; faint purring was heard from the sleeping boy. Someone’s hand landed a bit hard on the half-demons' shoulder as he quietly whined, he didn’t want to move from this unknown comfort. It was warm and welcoming, almost like his mother's touch but more physical and real. There was muffled speaking before the half-demon felt himself being lifted, too tired to open his eyes he would give into whatever was happening. It wasn’t long though as he felt the warmth and welcoming feeling once again consuming him. His head rested on something hard as he felt someone's arms under both his legs. He still couldn’t bother to open his eyes so he just went with whatever was happening.

“Hey..Rin? Try to stay a little conscious please. I’m taking you back to the dorm.” Renzo quietly whispered as he walked out of the classroom. The whole class was stunned at the wild scene but nobody dared to speak up whenever Mephisto and Shura were around. It was pretty obvious after the first incident that the whole class feared Mephisto and they already generally were scared of Shura. The only thing they ever got out of her now whenever she taught was full seriousness and whenever Rin was briefly mentioned she lectured the class on why they should drop whatever subject involved him and not mention his name again. Mephistos presence was intimidating enough to make the whole class fall silent even the mention of him. Once they all exited the room Renzo dragged him and Rin towards the boy's dorm where they were permitted to stay but on one condition; he protected the half-demon from the others. So, he granted their wish and promised to protect the one that slept all so soundly on his back.

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Upon their arrival the dorm was silent and empty; there were still a few hours to go before the others came back, normally the girls would follow them back to the dormitory to hang out. The cram kids had a special wing in their own dormitory due to demon activity and the rest of the school not very well-known about cram school. Renzo continued to drag nearly twice his body weight up the stairs and towards his room that he sadly shared with Bon; that would lead to a fight later but that wasn’t the main focus now. He shook Rin a bit to get his attention but there was no luck; he was completely out but that did make sense due to the walk being nearly as twice as long. Letting out a sigh he slowly tried his best to loosen the sleeping boy's grip; lowering him slowly down on his bed. There was a faint groan as the pink-haired boy went to leave but a hand reached out to stop him. It was Rin; his eyes were barely open but he whined for the comfort of someone there with him, for some reason Renzo was able to understand the feeling. With a small bit of hesitation, he moved the half-demon over a bit and climbed into bed with him. Getting ready to pull him close something took him by surprise; the scar on the half-humans' arm was visible as his sleeve rolled up a bit on the way. His breath hitched and he quickly wrapped the other in his arms, placing a gentle hand in his hair he soothed him back to sleep with a soft whisper.

“I’ll keep you safe. I promise.” Renzo whispered into the soft black hair before drifting off to sleep.

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The two must have slept pretty solid through the rest of the school hours because Renzo didn’t awake until someone shook him pretty hard. His eyes darted in front of him to see that Rin was still sleeping peacefully; that could only mean that the other cram kids were back from school. The pink-haired boy turned his head ever so slightly to meet a few pair of irritated eyes but the only pair that got his attention was Bon. Noticing that there was a sense of anger in the room he unwrapped his arms from around the half-demon and sat up, scratching the back of his head and stretching before scanning the room. He knew exactly what was to come so he ushered everyone out of the room before turning back to the dark-haired boy sleeping under a soft blanket on the bed. Renzo felt a small smile creep on his face as he softly closed the door before facing the group in front of him. He let out a sigh as he could feel the hell that was about to unfold in front of him.

“Renzo, what are you doing with that demon?”  Konekomaru questioned as he sided next to Bon; he didn’t look angry but fearful like always. Renzo could only roll his eyes at the sight, the people who were once his best friends were slowly becoming just friends to him.

“Well, you all saw exactly what happened in class with him. He turned to me for comfort and I couldn’t just leave him hanging. Also, he’s half-demon not fully demon; he is still humas as well you know?” The pink-haired boy leaned up against the wall and crossed his arms. He made brief eye contact with Bon before letting out a low chuckle; the brick shithouse-built kid always had something to say, he never knew how to just shut the actual fuck up.

“And? His flames are dangerous and he’s the son of-.” Bon was cut off as the brown-eyed boy with pink hair seemed too finally have enough. His eyes were full of something nasty as he took a step towards the blond patched hair boy. He needed someone to put him in his own place and today Renzo was finally ready to do that, he was tired of being his minion. 

“Bon can you stop with the demon shit? For once you act like he completely asked...no begged Satan to become his son. Like he wanted this to happen and you all still wonder why he tried to jump off the roof. It wasn’t for attention! He wanted to die because of all of us. He almost had some kind of anxiety attack in class today because he was scared something would happen if he was away from  Amaimon . AMAIMON OF ALL PEOPLE! Do you not see what we’ve done to him?! I’m trying to make it right by protecting him because all those times his flames got out of control and could  have killed us, he didn’t. He made a point to make sure we weren’t harmed and the best the rest of you can do is continue to treat him like a monster? You disgust me.” Shima finally snapped; his pink hair fell in front of his face as he gave Bon a shove. “You especially disgust me. Get the stuff you need and leave the room for the night. I promised Mephisto I would protect his younger brother so if you say a word to him; you’ll deal with me and him. Make your choices wisely.” The pink-haired boy turned around and entered the room.

He must have not noticed Rin sitting up on the bed as he quickly passed and stood in front of the other bed. Bon entered and instantly made eye contact with the half-demon but refused to open his mouth as he grabbed the stuff he needed. Renzo continued to glare at the blond-patched haired boy as he grabbed his blankets and pillows before exiting the room. There was a sigh of relief from the pink-haired boy before he heard a sniffle from behind him that instantly caught his attention.

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Rin was sitting up on the bed with the blanket wrapped tightly around his body, as he saw the other turn around; he used a pillow to shield his face. Tears stained his cheeks as he hugged the pillow tight, his figure was visibly trembling. He could barely control his breathing as a hiccupped sob erupted; his emotions were too overwhelming as he shook, his breathing slowly became rapid as he muffled it into the pillow. There was an arm that snaked around his center and pulled him close before removing the pillow. There was small shushes as the half-demon cried, a hand slowly caressed his arm while the other landed in his hair; gently playing with it. Soft fingers slowly ran across the healing scar, that only triggered more crying from the dark-haired male as he was being held. 

“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” Renzo reassured as he slowly laid back against the wall, still holding the emotional boy close. He could feel his heart break as he continued to realize just how much the half-demon was hurting. The cry he was letting out was nothing but full of pain and heartbreak. His own brother had turned on him and nobody bothered to show they cared until his attempt but he needed a friend. He needed someone to turn to when the adults weren’t around and Renzo planned on being that someone no matter what. 

Rin repositioned himself beside the other as he hid his face in the mattress, the room was slowly getting dark as the sun went down. He could feel some weight being lifted off his shoulder as he cried, just being close to someone who cared enough to cuddle with him as he slept made his emotions explode. He felt an arm once again wrap around him and pull close; making his head rest on the brown-eyed boys' chest as his tears slowly made an appearance on his shirt. Nobody ever showed they cared so much about him specially to stand up to one of the biggest kids in the class. It sounded so corny and like they were just children on a playground but Bon was scary just by the way he was built, especially compared to Renzo or Rin. He was no longer being hushed instead there was only soothing touch in response of his sobs. 

After what felt like an eternity of sobs, reassuring words, apologies, soothing touch, and anxiety; Rin managed to find his breath and calm down. His head was pounding as the pink-haired male continued to rock them lightly back and forth. It was completely dark outside now and the dormitory was silent, it seemed they were the only two awake at the time. The blue-eyed male looked up to see Renzo fighting to stay awake to make sure the other wasn’t going to pass out from hyperventilating. Rin was struggling a bit himself as a faint smile tugged at his lips and he closed his eyes; under the warm blanket and the warm touch of the other he felt safer than ever. He felt the others breathing slow before his own did and like that they drifted off to sleep once again in  each other's arms .

Fin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Hi! I hope you've enjoyed this chapter (if you've already read it) and are look forward to some more. Thank you all once again for all the great feedback; it really makes me want to work harder and motivates me to see that people enjoy this. This is the most I've written since I started writing fanfic with 5,262 wonderful words to read. I decided to add a bit of friendship and possibly future romance will come between Rin and the other named person who cuddled with him. I'm going to be so honest for the fact writing that Bon part just made me feel alive cause honestly I'm not a fan of him but possibly in the future I will make it better and add more friendships but for now I will be slandering him. Anyways don't forget to comment if you'd like; I love reading all your feedback. Kudos and bookmarks are also greatly appreciated. Other than that remember to take care of yourself; My messages are always open for talking to and I hope you have a good day. I love you and see you next time! <3


	4. Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin and Renzo decide to take a small trip to town where they wind up splitting up. Rin manages to convince a clerk to give him some drinks that aren’t exactly what he thinks they are. As he wanders off to find Renzo, he consumes the drinks over time. Renzo finds the half-demon in an alleyway completely drunk. Things only seem to take a turn for the worst after that as they head back to the dorm to try and sober the half-demon up.

Chapter  IV

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Trigger warning: underage drinking, vomiting, mention of non-consent, blood, therapy, and self-harm.

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The weekend came fairly smooth for the two males, they attended school and light exorcist training but nothing too harsh. The other cram school kids didn’t bother to try and change Renzo’s mind; knowing he was already settled with watching over Rin for however long he needed. There were occasional stops from Mephisto, Amaimon, and Shura to make sure the half-demon wasn’t harmed and stable. He hadn’t been to therapy in a few days since he went back to school but Sunday, he has a quick follow up to make sure he had a clear head. Everyone was still worried about a setback that could result in a worse attempt or even death. That thought kept everyone on edge, even Renzo as Sunday morning quickly approached.

Once again, the two boys were found in the same bed; curled up and cuddling through the night. Despite the fact Rin was assigned Bon’s old bed after he officially moved out, he wasn’t fully comfortable with sleeping alone yet. He still craved comfort and warmth that he never really got once he started to get older, more when his powers were activated. That was the main reason he really cherished  Shiemi’s hugs, they were always warm and comforting. Though he could no longer face her, the guilt of all he put her and the others through still lingered. He could only hope that they would see things from his perspective soon, he really didn’t ask for any of this; he wanted to be a normal kid. All his life even before he was really revealed to be a half-demon, people still would throw that demon shit in his face due to his explosive anger and strength as a child. 

Without warning a phone alarm went off, startling the pink-haired boy awake. Looking around to see where the noise was coming from; he’d notice his phone was lying flat on its screen on the floor. In a rush to pick it up; he was relieved to see that the screen was fine as he turned the alarm off and unlocked his phone. Rubbing his eyes to read what he had marked down, he quickly realized that Rin needed to make it to therapy on time today. Without a second hesitation he shook the half-demon until he was met with sleepy eyes and a groan, letting him know that he was awake. He didn’t have much time to talk as he pulled the other out of bed and helped him get ready; despite the fact he was completely half asleep. It was a struggle but Renzo was able to get the blue-eyed male dressed, freshened up, and a cup of light coffee to give him some kind of energy. Just in time as Mephisto made his random appearance as a dog and led Rin towards the door with the funny looking key in it. Renzo would stay behind and wait for the male to return before figuring out what they were going to do later, mainly depending on what the others mood would be after therapy.

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The process was fairly quicker than before,  Amaimon and Shura were already positioned in the room; this time Shura would be joining just in case anything like last time happened. Rin entered to meet Aimi’s smiling face as normal as she typed away on the computer, the keyboard was pretty obnoxious to listen to if he was being honest. The half-demon sat down and took a deep breath before looking down at the floor, Renzo had tried to work with him a bit on eye contact but it still made him fairly anxious to hold it for more than 15 seconds. The woman in front of him turned her attention towards him as her chair squeaked, her eyes were gentle and almost reassuring but not enough for him to look into them.

“Hello Rin, it’s nice to see you again. This is going to be simple and short today; I have a little survey to say the least I need you to fill out. We won’t do much talking because I don’t want to stress you out okay? You do have school tomorrow and there’s no need for me to add more pressure.” The woman’s voice was gentle as she placed a clipboard with two papers and a pen in front of the half-demon.

Rin didn’t say a word, instead he picked up the pen and wrote his name like he does on most papers. He wasn’t going to make this go on for longer than it needed to; if he was being honest, he didn’t really want to be there. He was still pretty tired and he was craving the physical attention from the pink-haired boy, even a bit from  Amaimon whenever they cuddled after a rough day. So, he began to read over and answer the questions the best he could.

Do you ever feel like you don’t belong? How long have you felt this way?

‘Yes. Since the first day of Cram school. They all looked down on me and talked behind my back, though always making it loud enough for me to hear.’

Do you ever wish you were someone different? Why?

‘Yes. I don’t like being a half-demon.’

Has anything hurt you mentally? What was it?

‘Yes. When Yukio said I should just die. When the others said I should be dead. When I know I should be  dead. ’

Has anyone tried to hurt you physically? Yourself? Another person? How?

‘Both. I hurt myself physically before. People hurt me a lot physically. They pull my tail, throw me on the ground, kick and hit me.’

Have you ever had thoughts of harming yourself? What ways? Have you tried to?

** ‘All the time.’ **

Rin stared down at the paper without a word, his head was spinning as he continued to reread the question. The pen in his hand was broken in half and ink leaked out on the paper, slowly covering the answers. His body was trembling as he tried to process what was happening but he couldn’t; for some reason he felt like he wasn’t him. His body didn’t feel like his own, he didn’t feel real at all. Infact he felt like he was staring down at his body just sitting there, this was different than the times before. He could see everything around him but nothing was real, he didn’t feel like he existed. A sudden hand rested on his chest as muffled words came to his ears, it was hard to make out but it was reassuring. It was Aimi reminding him that he was safe and real, apparently, he started subconsciously hyperventilating. His hands were shaking as someone else took them and ran their thumb over his soft skin, the physical touch was slightly reassuring as he felt like he was floating back down to his body. 

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After Rin was fully aware of his surroundings, he noticed the paper was ruined and his answers were covered in black ink. Though, he was kind of happy that nobody would find out that he intentionally hurt himself; at least not yet. Aimi ended the session and Rin left with the others like usual, they took him back to the dorms and left him in the hands of Renzo before leaving to do their own things. The half-demon dragged himself back to the room and flopped down on the floor; he felt like his body was going to give out any minute now.

“Rough session?” The pink-haired boy crawled over towards the other who just groaned in response. He caught on to the tired tone and immediately help the dark-haired male up and into the bed they normally lay on. Rin clung to his temporary roommate as they laid down, a hand rest on his back that slowly moved up and down with a light touch. There wasn’t much talk as they allowed the room to fall silent, there was no point of pushing the half-human to speak if he wasn’t in the best mood. Renzo just let him drift off to sleep as he thought about what they could do later to lighten things up a bit.

The nap was longer than both of them thought it was going to be. It was pretty dim outside and the sun was going down as Rin stirred and popped up. He was alone on the bed; a small bit of sadness washed over him as he thought he had been abandoned once again. The sound of a chair rolling quickly debunked his thought as Renzo appeared next to the bed, sitting in a chair with a manga in hand. 

“Hey Rin, I think we should take a trip to town. It would be fun to get out for a little.” The light-haired boy didn’t give the other a chance to respond before he grabbed his hand and pulled him out of bed. Throwing a light grey hoodie in his face, he’d hold his hand as he led him out into the hallway. Some other cram kids would poke their heads out and let their jaws drop at the scene of Rin and Renzo holding hands; though it meant nothing other than safety. As they made their way out of the building the blue-eyed male struggled to put the hoodie on as the other wouldn’t let go of his hand. A small blush appeared on his cheeks but he knew they were nothing more than a bunch of homies. It was normal for homies to cuddle and hold hands, right?

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The trip to town was fairly short as they were able to sneak past all the guards pretty easily due to it getting dark. Renzo continued to drag the half-demon around until they were in the center of town where crowds of people gathered. Rin was obviously taken by awe as he looked around and pointed out all the interesting sights, he hadn’t been away from the school in a while; other than missions. He blended in pretty well as his tail was tucked in, the fangs were pretty easy to explain and nobody really questioned why he had pointy ears. Though for some reason he still felt way out of place, it was easy for him to tell ‘normal’ from not so normal; just look at him. The thought ached in his chest as he let go of the others hand and looked down at his feet, shoving his hand down in his hoodie pocket. He didn’t want to embarrass Renzo again with his presence if anyone had spotted them so he put his hood up and looked around to find a quieter place for them to hang out. Just then, something caught his eyes and he subconsciously started to wander towards it; not aware that he was moving away from the pink-haired boy.

“Hey Rin, look at that shop over there. They have the best drinks!” Renzo started to walk the other way; assuming that the half-demon would be right behind him. It wasn’t until he stopped in front of the store to see that he was alone and there was no sign of his curious friend. “Rin?” He called out before getting worried, he began to walk quickly back to where they stopped the first time; only to find that the dark-haired one was completely gone. “Rin?! This isn’t funny!” the light-haired male began to run the opposite way that Rin had actually went in a panic that Mephisto would have his head on a stick.

Little did the blue-eyed male know; he was walking into a liquor store that sold some of the finest drinks. He was underaged and not even supposed to be there in the first place but he was anyway and he planned to purchase some stuff. Picking up a case of strawberry flavored alcohol that resembled soda, he let out a little squeal before taking the whole thing to the counter. Still not aware the strong alcohol in it, he stared down the cashier and debated with them until they gave in and allowed him to purchase the drinks. A case of 12 vodka filled strawberry cans were now in the possession of a minor; what a disaster that could be. As he exited the store he went back to where they originally stood, only to find that Renzo had wandered off without him. As he opened one of the cans, he decided to go look for the one who dragged him out there to thank him for getting him out and maybe share a few of his drinks.

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As time ticked away both the boys had no clue where the other was. Renzo was completely on edge as he feared for the worst. Rin was making it through the drinks faster than he thought as he ‘searched’ for someone with bright pink hair. Neither were having any success and it was getting really late; close to giving up and calling for help though that could end badly. The blue-eyed male had really no clue that he was getting drunk off the ‘sodas’ he purchased, he was wandering subconsciously now to see what else he could get into. More people began to go home and clear out of town which should have made it easier to look for the now drunken teen-child but he could have been anywhere. For fuck sakes he could be on top of a building just chilling there where literally nobody could see him.

Just as the light-haired male pulled out his phone to call Mephisto; something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye. He passed an alleyway with someone sitting in it and for some reason something had flared up and lit up the darkness for a second. As he turned around to take another look; there sat Rin with cans spread out around him, he was hiccupping as blue flame flared up with each movement. There was something off about the scene as Renzo slowly approached his ‘homie’, soon noticing the too familiar blush across the others cheeks. 

“Rin...are you okay?” He cautiously questioned as he crouched down in front of the slumped over other.

“ Heyyyyy it’s the king of  lameee . Where’d you go... _ *hic* _ ...buddy?” The half-demon blinked a few times before tilting his head back and giggling. There was a faint babble before his head fell back down and he let out a light snore.

“Okumura, you’re drunk. I need to get you back to the dorm. Bear with me, okay?” Renzo lightly tapped the others cheek and received a light groan. He was still slightly conscious but not enough to give him much help. Luckily, this wasn’t his first time doing this but it was still hard to get a drunk person onto his back; especially since the half-demon drank more than he did last time. After a few minutes of struggling, he finally managed to get the barely conscious drunk male onto his back and started towards the dorms; though this might be a longer trip than usual.

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Surprisingly, the trip was fairly easy for the most part; up until it came to climbing the stair to get back to the room. Rin had been out for the most part which was pretty good; the light-haired male wasn’t sure how he was going to hold up with all the motion. Once they were up a flight or so; things started to slowly unravel as Rin woke up from his drunken sleep with what sounded like he had choked. Without second warming a warm...liquid landed down Renzo’s back before the other fell unconscious again. For the rest of the way to the room, he could only pray that it was only sweat on his back from all the weight lifting he had been doing. Reality seemed to hit too quickly as he entered the room and dumped the other straight on the floor before removing his shirt to reveal his worst nightmare. He tried not to gag as he opened the window and threw the disgusting shirt out into the lake. Just as he thought he was going to get a breather; the drunk woke again to release more of the intoxicating liquid onto himself and the floor. The scene was horrifying to say the least as it seemed like something out of some possession movie unfolded; it was too late when the dark-haired male finished projectile rejecting all the alcohol in his body. Things couldn’t get worse...right?

Wrong...so very wrong. Once the mess was finally cleaned, Rin and Renzo sat both shirtless on the bed where they normally laid. The half-demon was slipping in and out of consciousness in middle of conversations; not to mention the horrible mood swings. One  second, he was laughing then he was crying then he was angry and then he was numb; all on repeat for what felt like hours. His flames continued to make frequent appearances as he went through a hiccupping fit that rocked his whole body. There was a trashcan on standby just in case but it was pretty obvious the other couldn’t bring anything else back up if he wanted to. This night was going to be long and on top of that it was a school night; the pink-haired boy had no clue how he was going to survive. Was he really even going to survive? Did Rin intentionally drink alcohol? Did he even know how to cope?

As the other got lost in his thoughts, something soon pulled him out as he felt the bed quickly move and the other disappear for a second. Before he could look over; a pair of blue-eyes appeared in front of him as a smirk was visible on the face the eyes belonged to. It seemed the flushed blush on the others cheeks became redder by the second as he slowly moved closer. The smell of the alcohol reeked in the others breath as their lips got closer by the second and Renzo began to panic; he couldn’t kiss a drunk person nor could he allow one to kiss him. He pushed the other away just to receive an even more aggressive attempt, this was going to be harder than he thought. Just as the other went back for a third attempt to kiss the anxious boy, he finally pushed him enough to get him on the floor and stand up. He needed to put his foot down before anything further could happen.

“Okumura that’s enough. You’re fucking drunk and you can’t go around just trying to randomly kiss people. You’re not even allowed to drink, so cut it out! Go to bed and sleep it off. We’ll talk about this on a later date when you’re stable. Goodnight.” The males tone came out a little harsher than expected; he just wanted to get his point across. It came clear to him that he might have added too much venom to someone that others would call ‘broken’, as he watched the other hang his head and give a shy nod. Without a word he watched the boy slug over to the other bed and curl up under the sheets. The guilt hit him like a train as he flipped off the room light and climbed into his own bed; alone for the first time in a few days. Maybe he was a little too harsh...did he really have to call him unstable? Fuck.

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One of the boys got at least a bit of sleep while one stayed up questioning everything. Like always the alarm went off intending to wake both of the males up; but only one of them jumped up. The other stayed curled up under a pile of blankets and pillows; not making any kind of noise to even make their existence known if they could of. As the other got dressed and left for school; the silence in the room never broke, though it was fairly awkward. Had something that bad really happened? Was their friendship ruined? Was the bullying going to start back up again?

Rin questioned as he sat up on the edge of his bed now that Renzo was gone. He could barely remember what had happened, other than the fact he was supposed to have a conversation on a later date...when he was stable. People did still see him as the kid who tried to throw himself off the roof. He wasn’t getting any better...was he? The thoughts that lingered in his head made him want to throw up, he needed some fresh air before he lost his head once again. Grabbing an old t-shirt from the dresser; he’d throw it on before heading out of the dormitory. It was empty as always as almost everyone went to school, unless they were sick or ‘hungover’ like he was. It was so much easier to leave this time; he didn’t have to push through students or feel like the walls were closing in and his mind was fairly calm. He walked right out and into the refreshing air, things couldn’t go wrong out here, right? Wrong as the half-demon only made it a few steps before the voice in his head began to boom.

“ ** You really don’t have a clue? You stupid brainless fool. You’re a monster.”  **

Rin completely stopped in his tracks as he felt a sharp pain in his chest. His eyes watered as he tried to figure out why this was happening.

“ ** You worthless child. You can’t even control yourself for a second. You go crying to your mother whenever dad yells, right? She doesn’t even want you now.” **

Okumura felt himself melting as he stood in shock. That wasn’t true...mom promised she loved him. “You’re lying. I’m nothing like you...I didn’t kill anyone.” He snapped back as he turned around, he couldn’t be outside...not now. Dragging all of his body weight as it felt like his body was getting heavier with every step. His vision began to blur as he clung to the walls for support, he needed to get back to the room before anyone saw him like this. The sick laughter was back and every little giggle made his heart hurt worse than before...what did he do to deserve this? He soon found himself wandering into the bathroom as he stood in front of the sink and stared down, avoiding any contact with the mirror.

“ ** Look into the mirror. Don’t be foolish. See who you really look like. Demon blood is at best in moments of stress and confusion.” **

Before he could refuse, his head shot up and there he was. His reflection was staring back at him but...it wasn’t him. His hair was white, his ears were longer than before, his tail was visible, his fangs were sharper than before and his expression was...cruel. The blue flames were consuming his body as he couldn’t take his eyes away from the mirror, what was happening to him?

“ ** That’s it. Stare at the monster in the mirror and take it in. That right there is the son of Satan. The blood child of a powerful lord who will soon fulfill the same duties as his father. Though he still has no clue how he tried to take advantage of his ‘friend’. How he was drunk and wasn’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer. How he pathetically got called out as unstable and forced to go to bed, curling up like the pathetic child he is. You stupid child. You will never be human. You aren’t even good enough to call yourself that. You disgust everyone around you. Your mother doesn’t even want to look at you. You are a disappointment to everyone who takes one look at you.” **

The world went dark as the words echoed louder than ever. It was painful to hear that...even if it was true. He was disgusting and he couldn’t hold himself back, he drank like the fool he is. Teenage human boys don’t drink alcohol nor do they try to kiss their only friend out of pure impulse. He was a stupid...worthless...disappointing child and everyone was disgusted by him. People were embarrassed to even be around him let alone to be seen with him. Maybe...he should have left when Yukio threatened to shoot him, or even pushed  Shieme away more when she came to his rescue.

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His eyes fluttered open to a bright blue scene in front of him. It didn’t feel as comforting as the field full of flowers or even the black room where he seemed to go before to see his mother. It felt more like a nightmare as he didn’t feel arms around him like usual and there was no comforting presence. Instead, there was a different presence...rage was the only word to describe it and it was completely frightening. Just as his vision cleared, he saw a more frighting scene unfold in front of him as he watched the dormitory, church, and school all go up in flames as screams came from inside. When he tried to take a step forward, he ran into something...a barrier? Trying to find another way around, he soon discovered he was trapped inside a box; a tight...claustrophobic box. 

As he struggled to find a way to open this torture chamber, something out of the corner of his eyes caught his attention. He wasn’t able to look away as he saw a figure...no a woman walking as her body was covered in the blue flames that burned the buildings. Her hair seemed to be blowing in the wind, her ears were pointy and her teeth were sharp fangs. Just as she turned around Rin noticed the hair before anything else, his heart began to ache as he saw the smile...it was full of evil; it was horrible to look at. There were tears...no blood coming from her eyes as she slowly approached the box, this wasn’t his mother...it couldn’t be. He felt his breathing speed up as he made eye contact with eyes full of rage and hatred...hatred for him.

“ **_ What a shame. You were my only hope to bring humans and demons together. Everyone could have been happy in the world. Demons wouldn’t have to die and humans wouldn’t have to fear for their lives. Disappointing, isn’t it? Just like you. Rin Okumura.”  _ ** The voice didn’t sound like his mother but yet...it was coming out of her as she looked at him. Her mouth was moving as the words struck right through the half-demon's heart.

“I-I can explain...please mom.” He choked out as he pressed his hand against the glass.

“ **_ Disgrace to all of us. Everyone believed in the powerful Rin Okumura. What a joke, I died to keep a fool alive. A fool who got drunk like an idiot and tried to hook up with his friend. He didn’t take no for an answer; what a disgusting fool. Demons don’t understand the basics of consent huh? To think you’re any kind of human...what a fucking joke!”  _ ** The woman’s voice boomed through whatever place they were in as she slowly began to turn away. 

“Mom! Please just listen! I know I messed up and that I’m disgusting. I didn’t mean to disappoint you, I wasn’t thinking! Please let me out...I’ll try harder to make you proud. Please!” Rin was slowly beginning to crack again, it felt like a mirror was breaking as he watched the flames grow bigger around the building.

“ ** _To think anyone would ever like you. The runt of the litter. The one who plans to kill his own people, the ones that look up to him and worship him. The ones who believe in the sick, pathetic Rin Okumura. Stupid child. You should have never been born. You’re a monster. You belong to Gehenna with the rest of us. Join us and become the true demon you are.”_** There it was...the final crack had finally shattered the mirror as blue flames grew around Rin’s body. His ears became long and pointy, his fangs were extremely sharp and his tail was whipping around inside the box.   
“Can you even hear me?! Why don’t people ever fucking listen?!” He hit the box before sinking down to the ground. His heart was shattered; nobody loved him...nobody would ever love him. He was a fucked-up demon trying to convince himself that he’d ever be seen as a human, what a joke he was. His mother was right; he was a disappointment disgusting failure and he didn’t deserve to live like he did. Everything started to go black again as the word ‘monster’ echoed through his head, the static was louder than before as he slipped away from the horrifying event he just went through.

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As the boy came back to reality, he noticed he was still on the bathroom floor. He clung to the sink and pulled himself up to meet his red, tear stained face looking back at him in the mirror. His chest hurt as he choked out a cry; maybe it was a cry for help or maybe even for the sadness in his heart. The dormitory continued to remain quiet as he put a hand over his mouth to try and muffle the sob that erupted from him. Sitting on the counter was a shaving razor, the blades visible as he stared down at it. Just as he expected the laughter returned but it wasn’t as sickening now...it was rather sad. It almost sounded like a cry...it was a cry, a painful silent cry that lingered in his head and made it pound. He hurt others, he made people upset and uncomfortable, he didn’t deserve to walk around carefree like he normally does. Nobody should care about him; they should all ignore him and get used to him being gone because soon, he would be.

“ _ Rin, you want the pain to go away. You want to feel what you made others feel. You want to be punished for your sins. You deserve to be punished for making others cry over you. Mephisto...Shura... _ _ Shieme _ _... _ _ Amaimon _ _...Renzo...Yuki...Mom. You made them all cry and you never felt a thing but numbness. Shouldn’t they be numb and not you? You should feel pain, right?! Do it.”  _ The voice sounded like his younger self...the same voice he used when he was hurt or angry. When the teachers would call him a demon for hurting another boy. It was his younger self telling him to pay for his sins. So, he picked up the shaving razor and slammed it against the sink as the voice chanted for him to do it; louder each time. 

Then, it broke and a razor stuck out; clear as day as the half-demon stared down at it. This time he didn’t care what color he bled; as long as he felt pain, he would be satisfied. The world went silent as he pressed the cold blade onto his skin and went over the same arm where the first wound was placed; but he didn’t feel enough pain. It wasn’t enough as he kept going up and down his forearm, blood dripping into the sink as he continued until it began to burn more than ever. He went over his first mark as red liquid began to flow out. His hands shook as he dropped the tool into the sink and stared at the fluid dripping down the drain. He sunk down to the ground and curled up into a ball, the voices were silent as he tried to keep the sobs quiet. He was shaking, his head was spinning and he felt like puking at the thought of someone discovering him. He wanted to curl up in a hole and die. He felt like more of an idiot as the adrenaline rush slowly began to fade away.

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Renzo sat in class like always; he wasn’t surprised that Rin didn’t make it to class. He was sure that either Mephisto or  Amaimon were back at the dorms taking care of him. It seemed like everyone was distant towards him now that he was getting close to the half-demon again; but he was just trying to understand him better. If he was actually being honest; Rin was a better friend to him then Bon had ever been. In a short period of time, they made memories, laughed many times, cried together, and just enjoyed each other's comfort. The thought made the pink-haired males cheeks turn bright red as he wrote down notes for class. It was hard to focus as all the good memories came back; the time when they went back to his hometown and Rin accidentally got drunk. Renzo chuckled at the thought just as the door flew open and the class fell silent.

Mephisto entered the room with a worried look on his face that instantly grabbed Renzo’s attention. He was panting and his hair was a mess as he stood in the front of the class; his jacket was half on as he cleared his throat. “Rin is missing.” He announced in a stern voice but his eyes were full of sadness and worry. The whole class filled with quiet chatter and all eyes turned towards Renzo in the back corner as he jumped up. The memory of last night hit him like a freight train as he let out a shaky gasp and began walking towards the classroom door. With every step he continued to pick up the pace and before he knew it; he was running out of the classroom. Mephisto had said something but it was drowned out by his loud heartbeat as he ran out of the building and towards the dorms. He knew he shouldn’t have been so hard on Rin; he was drunk and didn’t know what he was exactly doing. He should have kept watch over him like he promised but he failed and found him drunk in an alleyway. He blamed himself as he continued to run towards the dorms.

Upon entry he nearly tripped over his own feet as he ran full speed up the stairs. Before he could make it to the dorm; something on the floor caught his attention as he began walking towards it. His eyes widened and his heart began pounding out of his chest as he noticed a trail of fresh blood coming from the bathroom; towards his dorm. He peeked inside to see if Rin was in there but to his surprise there was nothing but a basketball sized puddle of blood on the floor. Before he left; he entered the bathroom to see if he could find anything useful now that he knew that someone or something was bleeding. Going to the sink, he found the broken razor and bloody razor blade sitting in the sink. His heart dropped to his stomach as he opened the cabinet and grabbed a medical kit before quickly leaving. He couldn’t get to his dorm fast enough as he followed the trail that led right to his room, he kicked the door open to find a note on his desk. The writing was near scribble and shaky; all it said was ‘I’m Sorry’ with a few splats of blood over a few other words at the bottom. The world went silent as Renzo stared down at the note with shaky hands, the sound of his heartbeat filled his ears as he dropped the note and ran out of the room. Going through his pocket to find the cram school key; he nearly dropped it as he found a door and stuck the key inside. Unlocking it, he whipped the door open and began running at full force down the hallway. As he passed his classroom; heads peaked out to see where he was going and soon, they realized he was running up to the roof.

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In a panic Renzo ran straight through the doors to the roof and fell down on his knees. His vision was blurred as he saw a figure standing on the ledge; some kind of puddle next to the figure as something dripped down. He couldn’t seem to stable his breathing as he pulled himself off the ground and wiped his eyes; noticing that he was crying from all the anxiety built up. Taking a few steps forward he reached his hand out; he didn’t care if it was Rin or not, he was the only other one on the roof and the only person who could save this person. 

“Please, Come with me. Don’t do this. There’s so much you haven’t done like finish your shampoo and conditioner at the same time, told someone your favorite pasta, rode that ride you couldn’t as a child, go to that place you’ve always thought was beautiful. There’s still so much you can do before you go!” Renzo took another step closer as he stretched his hand out further. He tried to remain calm as he noticed the figure moving a bit; followed by a faint familiar laugh. 

“My favorite pasta is easy pasta carbonara.” The voice became too familiar to Renzo as they responded with a shaky laugh. His breath started to become rapid and loud as he continued to take a few more steps. Before he could say anything; his vision cleared to meet Rin’s tear-stained face looking back at him. His eyes darted down to the puddle and slowly followed up to the half-demon's arm that was covered in scars and blood as he held it close to him. “Death is a beautiful place I’ve always wanted to visit. Death is beautiful. To satisfy everyone by erasing myself from the world. It’d make everyone happy, right Renzo? I can finally feel all the pain I put everyone through at last. Death is my happy ending.” Rin chuckled as he took one more step closer to the ledge. He was smiling as he let go of his arm and blood flew down from the scars. Without another word he stepped off the ledge as Renzo screamed and cried trying to convince him that he’s wrong.

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The world was silent; time stopped in that moment as Renzo and Rin were up on the roof. Nobody knew what was going on other than them and it didn’t seem anyone was coming to save the day. There froze Rin with his body leaning forward, one foot off the ledge as the other was following behind his soon to be falling body. Renzo was close behind as his hand reached out to try to grasp any part of his friend before it was too late. Everything was happening  so fast but like slow mode in that moment as everything was on the line. If Renzo couldn’t grab onto the half-demon; it’d all be over and he’d have to look down at his dead best friend.

The world got loud again as Renzo ran towards the half-demon and wrapped his arm around his midsection. Pulling him back with all his strength as he cried out like a child in the store. They both fell back against the hard ground with a loud thud as the pink-haired male wrapped his arms tightly around Rin and sobbed harder. He couldn’t pull himself together as the dark-haired male began to cry as well; both were falling apart as they sat there in each other's arm; where they really belong.

After what felt like nearly an hour of crying it out; Renzo finally placed a gentle hand in Rin’s hair and whispered reassuring words to soothe him. There was no point of trying to talk to him while he was this worked up. He had forgot the first aid kit back in the dorm and he knew they needed to get away from the ledge if they were going to talk. Once he felt it was best to move; he got up and took off his shirt; knowing that he needed to stop the bleeding while they walked back to the dorm, he tied it tightly around the half-demon's arm. Helping him up off the ground was easier than he thought it was going to be but the hard part would be getting down the steps.

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The walk back to the dorm was silent as both the males thought about what had just happened. Questioning what would happen if Renzo was too late and Rin went through with the jump or what would happen if Mephisto found out about the whole thing. As they silently walked through the cram school hallway, both kept their heads down to avoid anyone asking them questions. The door to their class was open and there were whispers heard from inside the classroom as they passed by. There was no point of entering if it was already drawing enough attention towards the two. Making it back to the door the light-haired male came through was simple enough as he left it cracked; he got lucky that nobody had come through or even stole the key at that. Stepping through just like that they were back in the dormitory; the blood on the floor was still there, slowly drying as Renzo stepped over it and walked to his dorm. Rin still hadn’t said a word as they entered and he was practically dropped on his own bed. The half-demon couldn’t look his human friend in the face as he watched the shirt slowly turn red from all the blood from his wounds. The pink-haired male finally took a deep breath and grabbed something from his bed before crouching down in front of the dark-haired boy.

“Okumura; what made you do it? What happened? You were doing so well.” Renzo quietly asked as he began to remove the shirt; prepared to catch whatever blood still leaked from the open wounds.

Rin sighed and his body began to shake as a few tears streamed down his cheeks. “Momma said I was a monster. She said I-I'll do it again like I did last night. Then someone just told me I should feel all the pain I made others feel. Yuki,  Amaimon , Mephisto, Shura, You, Bon...” He was slipping again; the tears flew down his cheeks as he felt like he couldn’t breathe. The world was blurring in front of him as he felt like he was falling once more.

“That’s not your fault! I’m sorry that I was harsh but your momma is wrong! I just wasn’t ready and you were drunk. You’re not unstable and you’re doing great. Please listen to me Rin...Okumura I care about you. I don’t want to lose you. Please.” Renzo’s voice cracked as he began to tear up. He worked on cleaning the wounds up and bandaging up his arm before holding his hand. He pressed the half-demons palm against his chest to allow him to feel the rhythmic heartbeat to calm him down even the slightest so they could talk.

The two stayed like that for a few minutes before finally the light-haired male pulled the blue-eyed boy up to meet him face to face. Making sure they made eye contact as he moved closer towards him with a gentle smile. “Make me a promise. Whenever things like that happen again...come find me and tell me. I don’t care what time of day it is or whatever I’m doing. I can’t lose you. I’ll be by your side whenever you need me...even if you don’t want me there. I’m done leaving you alone.”

Rin looked ready to bawl his eyes out as he looked away. His face turned bright red as he looked down at the floor. “I promise. I’ll come to you. I was scared too...it wasn’t like before. It was like someone else was controlling my body. I was so scared! I didn’t want to die Renzo...” There it was; he finally broke as a sob escaped his body. Before he could try and cover his mouth to avoid it from getting louder; Renzo grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers. He was pulled close to a warm chest as he cried out in sorrow and regret; he could feel his heart breaking as he was hushed and rocked. It felt like the half-demon hadn’t felt this kind of warmth and caring since his father was alive and he was a child. He missed the days when mental health wasn’t an issue for him. Despite everyone calling him a monster as a child he always managed to find some kind of light at the end of the tunnel. Now he was in a hole with what felt like no way to get out. He wanted to go back...to the days when he was loved...to the days when his family loved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi bubbies, babies, and baddies. I hope you enjoy (or are going to enjoy) this chapter. I know it took me a bit to finally release but I have been busy trying to catch up on school and on in the past month. I know this is another lengthy chapter and I do apologies but this was written in a time when I wasn't mentally there at all. I don't have much to say here but I hope you again do enjoy. Remember comments, kudos, bookmarks, and clicks are very much greatly appreciated. I apologize for any grammar or spelling errors; I currently have company over and it's a little hard to focus without being rude and ignoring them. Anyways, I'll see you next time <3.

**Author's Note:**

> So! I wrote this before continuing my other chapter of 'It'll get better I promise' BUT my mental health hasn't been the best so instead of reflecting that onto my main story I made a side story. I thought about making this multiple chapters but I'm going to wait to see how this does to decide if I should continue this or not. Anyways, I did at first feel bad about making some of the characters seem like actual pricks but through sources and just watching clips of the anime after finishing it + reading into some of the mange I have come to a conclusion. All of them can burn in hell especially Yukio after he treated his older brother like he's not also the son of Satan and acts like he's so much better than Rin. Anyways I feel like Amaimon and Mephisto would be good brothers/half-brothers despite trying to kill Rin cause honestly I feel like once it's revealed to everyone just how much Rin is hurting it really affects the two. Also since we didn't get much on Amaimon or Mephisto in the anime I feel like they secretly are some good people. Anyways, that's all I wrote this in one night so please excuse any errors/mistakes I made but other than that I would love some feedback if I should continue this. I hope you enjoy/enjoyed reading this and if you did please leave some Kudos.


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